


Phantomstuck

by Alley_Walk (AlleyWalk_writes), AlleyWalk_writes



Category: Danny Phantom, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, DP with HS elements, Danny Sam and Tucker are qpr, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Not Phantom Planet Compliant (Danny Phantom), POV Multiple, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Rebirth, Trans Danny Fenton, character interactions, cw's in each author's note, except also... not?, i think ive made it work tho, ik its a bit Out There, its p tame tho tbh, they're all sixteen tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26645134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlleyWalk_writes/pseuds/Alley_Walk, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlleyWalk_writes/pseuds/AlleyWalk_writes
Summary: After pawning a reality warping game in the ass, the Strilondes and Harley-Egbertians are abruptly dumped on some no-name Earth where there’s no troll or carapacian to be found. When a long, boring sixteen years have passed, momlalonde enters the field of ectobiology and summarily decides to move the Strilondes out to ass backwards Michigan even though he—er,theyhad been perfectly happy where they were before. Fuck this. He’s going back to the game to be lobotomized by the Condesce.
Relationships: Danny Fenton & Tucker Foley & Sam Manson, Danny Fenton/Tucker Foley/Sam Manson, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jake English/Dirk Strider, Rose Lalonde & Roxy Lalonde & Dave Strider & Dirk Strider, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, all!
> 
> This is a new fic of mine, which I hope you’ll all like.
> 
> I’m thinking that each chapter will just be short and sweet little scenes that give all the information needed without dragging down the story too much or making me get stuck on a particular scene.
> 
> And I know that this crossover is a little out there, but I think I’ve found a good way to make it work, which you’ll find out more about later… 
> 
> Since it's so short, I can (hopefully!) do some infrequent updates every few days. Here's to hoping.
> 
> No CW’s I can think of for this one, so please enjoy!

Rose > begin narrative

“Aw, c'mon mom, I thought we said no wizard statues!” Dave argued as a rather large statue being lifted by the moving men nearly clipped the edge of the foyer. A shame. Rose would have preferred if it had lost its head.

“It _was_ agreed upon.” Rose said mildly, rubbing her icy hands together to get the blood flowing again. It was a chilly September day out, and Michigan weather's idea of cold was much different than what Rose was used to. 

Doctor Lalonde placed a gloved hand on her shoulder. “Of course, whatever you want, dear.” She kissed her on the cheek, the scent of alcohol on her breath. Rose didn't turn away, but nor did she turn towards her mother.

Dave flipped off a violet eyed girl with short black hair one house over who was staring at them through her window. She rolled her eyes and made a rude gesture, pulling the blinds.

“Nice neighborhood.” Dirk commented, coming up behind with a box of what was most probably weaponry in his hands.

Dave sighed gustily. “It's good to be home.”

* * *

gothGeek [GG] began pestering 

hotTechnology [HT] 

and 

spaceNerd [SN]

GG: take a load of this.

GG: wizardstatue.png

HT: ...is that your next door neighbors house?

HT: creepy much, Sam?

GG: always.

SN: that statue is way creepier than Sam is.

GG: hey!

HT: ikr? 

SN: just watching

HT: silently staring

GG: you're both idiots

SN: <>

HT: <>

GG: <>


	2. Chapter 2

Dave > find a spaceship... with the word FENTON on it

Dave groaned, hiding his face from the eyeball searing sun behind Dirk's totally-not-an-anime-rip-off t-shirt. “It's too early for this,” he grumbled, pushing his shades higher up his nose as the Strilonde Family approached a large red brick building. As they got closer Dave stared. And stared. And stared. 

“Was there an alien landing we didn't hear about or something? Because if there was, I want my money back.”

Roxy laughed. “Ur rite, it, liek, totes looks like a spaceship.” 

A spaceship with the word FENTONWORKS on it, anyway. 

Looking down at her notes, Momlalonde nodded to herself. “This seems like the right place.”

Dave eyed the looming spaceship dubiously. “If you say so.”

They were lingering uncertainly a few feet from the door. Momlalonde was fidgeting with her notes, nervous…? maybe? Yeah, definite yes in the nervous department. 

But then, she has been practically obsessed with ectobiology for the past year and a half. Something about the Fentons being the next big step in her research. Not that Dave cared or anything like that. He's planning on staying well outta the way of that mess. 

Roxy, evidently deciding to get it over with, darted forward and rang the doorbell. There was the sound of muffled shouting from inside, and they waited a minute until a teen about their age answered the door, looking harassed. 

He had silky dark hair that fell over one eye in a messy fringe, his arctic blue eyes holding a glint that was both wary and welcoming. His skin was a light deep brown, with a lichtenberg scar tracing a pale and winding path up his left cheek, trailing down his neck and disappearing down his shirt. He was wearing an open white and blue hoodie with a thin black t-shirt underneath, with beaten up blue jeans that had a stain of something glowing and green on them.

Instantly the annoyed look melted away, and he rubbed the back of his neck in a sheepish smile. “Sorry. You must be here for the appointment, right? Doctor… Lalonde? At least I  _ think _ that was today…” He said, scratching his head.

Roxy silently stared, speechless. Dirk pulled her back. “It was.” He confirmed.

Momlalonde held out her hand with a smile. “Doctor Lalonde, at your service.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roxy:
> 
> instant cuteness overload
> 
> target acquired


	3. Chapter 3

Dirk > Beware

“Is it really haunted?” Rose mused.

Dirk snorted. “I doubt it.” 

“Aw, c'mon Dirk, why dont’chu try actually beliefing in something for once? *Bereave. * _ Believe _ . There we go.”

“Yeah, believe in yourself Dirk. Make all the douche fairies fly.” Dave commented. Dirk gave him a hard look and Dave flinched.

Dirk pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting off a stress headache. Just, fuck his alter-self, fuck him to hell and back. 

They were meandering at a leisurely pace through the warehouse district. It was about nine o'clock at night, with the stars nowhere to be seen. Roxy tried to con a bottle of vodka off of a cashier at a 7/11 and had them all kicked out a half hour ago, and Dave's heard some rumors around Casper High about this warehouse that's haunted by a horde of ghosts. 

And so, in true Strilonde fashion, they're walking leisurely towards the danger rather than running screaming from it. Dirk knew, from his knowledge of the Game, that ghosts most definitely existed. Especially the harmful kind. Which is why he went along, his katana sheathed to the small of his back, just in case.

And for this instance, 'just in case' meant 'always'. None of the others were particularly happy going without weapons anymore either. Except maybe June, though, to be fair, that may not be entirely by choice. Her weapon isn't exactly subtle, and it's not like captchalogue decks exist anymore. 

He looked down at his phone. No new messages from Jake. He was on better terms with Jake this time around, and they had both agreed to put the past behind them. Dirk was hopeful, and almost sent off a message before hesitating. He finally grimaced, shoving his phone into his pocket instead.

They strolled into an old boxing warehouse where they took a break, leaning against the boxes and chatting idly. They all stood up to leave ten minutes later, a bit bored. The piles of boxes around them began to quiver and shake, Roxy jumping back as an eerie green glow surrounded them. The boxes alighted into the air as if lifted by a great hand, whirling around them in a furious cyclone that penned them in on all sides. 

“I told you it was haunted, dawg, I told you!” Dave yelled over the wind, his hands shaking around his sword. 

Then the ghost appeared. He'd look like any other person in the right light. He was overweight, and wore blue cover-alls and a white t-shirt. He had light blue skin and red eyes, and brown horns on his head. “I am THE BOX GHOST! Bow down and submit to your corrugated DOOM!” He made dramatic motions with his hands at that. 

Dirk, fed up, leapt into the air and made a swing at the ghost with his katana, only for it to go right through. He heard the  _ ker-chk! _ of Roxy's sniper rifle and felt as Rose's magic made his teeth buzz as it neared. Faced with three or more flying humans, the Box Ghost 'eep'ed and wisely fled. 

Dirk looked to Rose as boxes crashed to the floor around them. “We have a problem.”


End file.
